LQA Exclusive!!

Don't you love how "Exclusive!" is some kind of signifier that you have to respect? What's that about? It's like a tacit admission that there are things that the pub should not be involved with, save through a relationship with your shitty news source

I digress.

So I was out on my run today on Queen Anne Ave. and who should I pass that was pushing a baby stroller but Nick Collison? I didn't even know that he had a kid. Honestly, I didn't look to see if there was a baby in the stroller. It could have been an elaborate hoax on.... I don't know.

Anyway I couldn't resist saying something to the LQA First Half MVP. Here follows the interview:

Me: "What's up, Collison?"
Nick: "Hey, how are you doing?"

And scene.

I elected to go with the Collison for the address because I was subconciously thinking, "Were this guy in my fraternity what would I call him?" It seemed to go over well.

Camm's great take on Spurs - Suns

I've been emailing Camm about the Spurs and Suns because he's the only Spurs fan I know and he penned an epic and spot on defense of the Spurs. Here it is:

I feel like the spurs are playing in the wrong era right now. The NBA is soft. You look at a guy like Amare Stoudamire. Huge black dude covered in really 'tough' tats. Something happens to him in a game in this series that he doesn't like so what does he do? Whines like a little bitch. If bowen had done that to Rick Mahorn, Lambeer, Magic, Bird, DJ, or Isaih, they'd have been scraping him off the court in game 2, AND EVERYONE WOULD HAVE LOVED IT.

The Spurs play that kind of ball. Horry's shot to nash was re-diculous, but it was also great. he was pissed that the Spurs were going to lose, so he knocked the shit out of the 2 time league MVP. Good for him. When the NBA was in its golden age, it was full of superstars who would slit someone's throat in order to win. Teams don't have that right now. Some of the teams are exciting to watch on some levels, but honestly, the closest we get to seeing the old school kind of ball is from Charles Barkely in the studio, and the Spurs.

Sure they may be 'fundamental' and play 'good defense' which are synonyms for boring, but they are also the closest thing the league has to a dynasty and they have more excitement around the team than they get credit for. Duncan essentially got a ref of almost 30 years fired, Ginobli pisses everyone off with his style of play, Parker (who is way underrated, without him they are nothing) has a supermodel in the stands everynight, and then you've got the Horry's and Bowens who are great role players but who bring controversy everywhere they go. I fail to see how this team is boring.

Look at the rest of the league. nash, Lebron, Boozer, Amare, Kidd.... all great players but none of them have the aura surrounding them that suggests they will do whatever to win. You're hatred of the spurs tells me you have bought into this new NBA and explains why you like Luke Ridnour (how can that be??). You like the up and down tempo (even though the old school NBA had a lot of scoring), but you also like to tone down the controversy. Lets be honest though, Robert Horry's forearm to Steve Nash made this a better series.

My responses in short. I totally agree that what separates the Spurs is that they want it more than everyone else. I think Steve Nash wants to win as bad as any of the Spurs and the Suns are following suit. He's dead right that the controversy makes the series better.

As far as a defense of Ridnour. My love/hate relationship with him is well documented but exhibit A for the defense remains this saucy clip that I've linked a half dozen times already to. But I'll show it again.


I'll let this fantastic Camm addendum to his email close the post.

Addendum:

Nothing illustrates my point more than the articles I'm reading today saying Amare and Diaw are going to be suspended for leaving the bench. What a friggin joke. The NBA should review the tape and suspend every guy who didn't leave the bench. This is the NBA playoffs, not little league. The old mantra, "it's not whether you win or lose....." is not true. It is whether you win or lose. 100's of millions are at stake, both in salary and revenue. The players should act accordingly.

So good.

Spurs vs. Suns

(Remember that quick strikes gimmick? It will be BACK. I promise. New segment. In the mid 90s MTV switched from delivering the oblique "videos for undetermined amount of time" programming to stricter half hour segments. I need more segments. = Quick Strikes)

Here's my take on the Robert Horry bullshit: It was fucking bullshit on the part of Mr. Robert Horry.

Wild take, I know.

That motherfucker should be suspended for the rest of the series. He will only get one game. Mr. Barkley on the postgame show was imploring the powers that be to not suspend Diaw and Soutdemire for "leaving the bench". I put that in quotes because combined those players put one foot on the court. Still, they crossed the line that the league designates as bench area. Though it isn't fair, expect the league to suspend both of these players for Game 5.

The NBA has shown in the past that it will reward a cagey dirty play by punishing the team that the dirty play is committed against. I am of course talking about the Pace Show - Pistons brawl at the Palace. Ben Wallace instigated a fight in that instance with a cheap shot against Ron Artest. The Pistons were getting blown out at home at the time. Ron Artest commited a legit foul against Wallace that Big Ben took a giant exception to. Ron then lies down on the scorer's table because he's a bit of a weirdo (understatement), and then a fan throws beer on him.

Ron and subsequently the Pace Show have a totally legitmate reaction to having beer thrown on them: They want to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER DID IT. And then they do. And the league suspends Artest for the season and disbands Detroit's only legitimate competition in the East. Not just for the season mind you, because Indiana was broken up after that year. They were wildly talented and it all went up in smoke that day in the "Palace".

As if Detroit would have a Palace. Seriously.

Thinking about it. These Spurs fans missed a big opportunity here. They could have started hurling beer at the Suns. The Suns would have reacted like humans and tried to beat those assholes up, and they would have been suspended for the rest of the playoffs. Honestly if the fans were as dirty/cagey as the team they support they would have done this.

The Spurs are a piece of shit team. It starts with Bowen. Horry has now sunk to his level. Duncan is the biggest whiner in hoops.

I'm a bad writer because I was not consistent with my tenses within sentences. (Attempted grammar joke) Like ever.

PS The worst part about the Horry on Nash violence is that it distracts people from the fact that the refs stole the game from the Spurs with a sequence of dubious calls during the second half to keep Phoenix within 7-11 points.

Word.

Quick Strikes

SKKKKEEEAAAAAM SHRIIIIAAAKKK (Quick Strikes)

San Antonio is infuriating to watch. Amare Stoudemire was totally in the right calling them a dirty bunch. The refs respond to anyone questioning the Spurs' unfairly earned choir boy reputation by not allowing Amare to play. And he still got 21 in the 19 minutes he was on the floor. There is no difference in the way Tim Duncan and Rasheed Wallace react to fouls called against them. One gets thrown out because society thinks he's an n word. The other is immune because he stayed in college for four years. What the fuck is that about?

Dear David Stern,

Just because the Spurs players used to go to church together, and that some of them are from other countries does not prelude them from being dirty motherfuckers. I hate them. Nobody wants to watch them/will watch them where everyone wants to and will watch the Suns. Pull your head out.

PS If the Sonics leave town and I subsequently see you in person, I will be going to jail. FYI

LAZAAAAAM HEEEEEAAAARRRRRGGGEEE (Quick Strikes)

How about Everton today huh? In my first game as a supporter Everton went into Chelsea and came out with a point. They honestly should have won the game but were done in by two shady officiating decisions. Chelsea's Ferrara slaughtered Arteta which the ref inexplicably ruled no foul. In the immediately ensuing play Drogba finished for Chelski with Everton's finest still writhing on the rain slicked turf. Everton boss David Moyes was so furious he went out on the field to scream at the referee. The referee responded by sending a rightfully outraged Moyes to the opposing stands.

Imagine if this were a UW Oregon basketball game and Ernie Kent got sent into the Dawgpack because the refs were sick of hearing him. What an amazing convention! Well done premiereship. When they showed pictures of Moyes from then on Chelsea fans were chatting him up and bothering him. But he was in the rich seats so there was no real danger.

Anyway Everton man of the match was 18 year old wonderkind James Vaughan. He scored Everton's go ahead goal to finish a wonderful counter attack that wobbled mighty Chelsea. He almost produced a stunning volley off a cross from Arteta shortly thereafter that required all of Cech's ability to parry it away.

In other news Everton apparently is in the mix to acquire Man City's Joey Barton. This guy apparently is talented but available on the cheap because he recently...oh...punched the shit out of one of his teammates in practice. He's not a character guy in the traditional sense. Or he is, because he sounds like quite the character. I have no opinion.

I do however think it's a shame if the Toffees don't resign Fernandes. Frankly he's one of the few players on the roster with the flair required to do anything in Europe next year.

QUICK STRIKES!!!!!! That was rousing.

An email. A momentous email.

From me to Winner. A confession. My sports allegiance list:

Huskies (everything)
Seahawks
Supes
Bombs
Pace Show
Twinks
EVERTON FC

I was watching an Everton-Arsenal match on Fox Soccer Channel earlier
this year and it was one of those hilarious games where the announcers
are opposing fans and talk shit to one another all game. The Arsenal
guy was talking like an annoying big brother the whole game talking
about how Everton was unimportant blah blah blah. So the game is
zeroes until the 90th minute or so and lo and behold Everton get the
goal at home for the unexpected win. The Everton announcer who for
the most part had been deferring to the greatness of Arsenal (who had
the run of play all game but just couldn't score) launches into a
wonderful celebration.

"Everton! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! They've had the better chances!"
(Technically true but not really true.)

"They deserved it!" (Not true.)

"Andy Johnson! England finest striker!" (He was making this claim
all game but it was jokey at first. Became serious once he scored.)

Yesterday I'm sitting at home doing my math homework and watching more
FSC because soccer is great background television. The game is
Everton - Portsmouth. Apparently Everton has a chance to play in
Europe next year because they're fifth in the Premiership, but they
have to win this game. After an ugly first half Everton comes out of
the locker room on fire and scores two goals to ensure the victory.
The crowd is going apeshit. They even get a third goal in the 90th
minute on a diving header by a guy who was inserted into the game
seconds eariler.

I used to think I liked Liverpool as far as the Premiership goes, but
that's stupid. They're too easy to root for because they're too rich.
Therefore I'm switching my support to their bitter bitter rivals
Everton. Wikipedia informs me that Everton actually have a decent
history. (I made what to me seems like a British "has/have" decision
there in that last sentence.) Plus I get to hate Wayne Rooney more
because he stabbed Everton in the back by jumping to Man U after
saying he would always play for the Blues.. I hate him anyways so
bonus. Paul McCartney is a celebrity fan. Go Blues!! Go Toffees!!
Go (whatever else they're called)!

My first game as a supporter will be a delayed broadcast of their
season finale against Chelsea on Sunday at 11;30 am. Then we get to
play in the UEFA Cup next year (barring a double digit loss or
something absurd to Chelsea). Ha. WE! It feels right.

Warriors Mavericks Third Quarter

So I'm watching the second half of the amazing Warriors Mavs show tonight that I recorded on the old DVR. I recognize that this game will be wildly underrepresented on the blogosphere - psychballs, so (anyway) I'm telling you what happened.

The Mavs were within 5 points with 7:15 to go in the third. Amazing. They're about to get taken to the cleaners. Stephen Jackson has just hit his third three in the last two minutes of game action. Jackson has just hit his fourth three in the last two minutes of game action. He has scored 13 straight Warrior points. Steve Kerr on the call: "Stephen Jackson just does not care." Isn't that the key to life. When you don't give a fuck you can shine. All of a sudden the Maves are down 12. Dirk is a total non-factor. I'm sure people will lay off that tomorrow in the papes. Austin Croshere is in the game and suddenly is an option on offense.....with decidedly unsexy results.

Don Nelson looks like he's about 8 drinks in. Croshere takes another shot. Austin Croshere takes and misses his third shot in a row. B Diddy gets to the rack hambone and all. 5 minutes to go. Diddy to the rack again and Croshere with the cheap shot foul. Apparently they were high school teammates. UCLA and Purdue in the building. Who wins that? UCLA always, and I'm a UW guy. And a Croshere guy. Mavs down 14 all of a sudden.

Cuban looks like he knows what's about to happen. This series is so good because it's fun to see a billionaire go for something he can't buy and fail. Props to Cuban. America's owner for sure. Stephen Jackson to the line with the Mavs down 16 now. At the half the Warriors were lucky to be in this game. Barry Bonds has rejuvenated Diddy's ham. How about Comcast getting a shit load of pub on those "We Believe" placards? Well played corporate America.

Jet jacks a three and misses with 3 and a half to go and misses. Mavs down 18. Dirk is literally not in the game. Wow. MVP. Can they give it to Nash retroactively? Stack steps out of bounds for another Mavs turnover. Biedrins on the line after the Mavs have employed the hack a euro strategy. Biedrins hits two and that's it. It was meant to be. He's a ridiculously poor free throw shooter form wise and manages to coax two in. Kerr rightfully points out that hacking Biedrins here with 3 to go in the third means that Avery Johnson doesn't think that the Mavs can stop the Warriors. Ahhh TNT coverage. So good.

Broken zone and Matt Barnes BOOOOSH on Dirk's sorry mug. Warriors up 23. Dirk looks about as effective as his facial hair. Baron can't come out because his hamstring might tighten up. Good thing because he's actually getting faster and better as this goes on. Devin Harris hits a three to make the lead 19. Diddy responds going right to the hole and buckets. Howard clanks a three. Devean George is shooting threes for the Mavs for pete's sake. Wow.

Closing possession of the third and George clanks another three. Warriors take the pivotal third quarter 36-15. They're up 23 and conceivably need only about six point and to play average defense to win the game at this point.

Obviously they end up with more and coast. Barkley gets his comeuppance and responds admirably by wearing a G State shirt on the post game show. He also rips Diggler a new one and rightfully so.

My mental soundtrack for this game has been Too Short's "Oakland". Download it. It's a hilarious song that adds to the swagger of the Pacers...I mean Warriors.

Straight from the West/Oakland is the best/Baby it's so fresh!!!