Guitarist from Korn Finds God - Leaves Band

Sometimes my blog writes itself. That sounds like an awful epiphany to go through - realizing that spending your time with dudes named Munky and fatasses all tatted up with rap star cars wasn't fulfilling. Or should I say rap star cars circa last time they had a hit. Your whips is old biatches. Looking on allmusic.com I see that one of the Korn's nicknames is "Fieldy Snuts". I find that funny. I take everything I said back fellas. T minus three mortgage payments until this guy has another epiphany: I'm broke. Kristian Korn to the rescue.

How many angsty teenagers are going to bed tonight dreaming of being the new member of Korn? Zero, because Korn fans are now in there twenties and pathetic. Certainly today some of those guys will walk a little meaner and riff a little harder before they go to bed tonight. Of course, they won't riff harder than I just did on this topic. In the words of Tenacious D, "This sh*t came off the top of my head y'all...It's a cosmic shame!"


http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=769&e=2&u=/nm/20050223/music_nm/music_korn_dc

President's Day

A journalist has released some tapes recorded in 1998 that have President Bush admitting he smoked pot. Did anyone think otherwise on this? Of course he smoked pot. The transcript also contains an implicit confirmation that the president snorted blow. Good for him I say. Why do you have to pretend like you don't remember, ya stupid biatch?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/02/21/bush.tapes/index.html

NASCAR keeps getting bigger and bigger so I tuned in and caught the last three laps of the Daytona 500 yesterday. After all these years, it's still just cars driving. The guy that won the race looks like my friend Rux. I think that people in the south consider Dale Jr. part of their own families. Weird.

Last night I went to watch the NBA All Star Game at Hitchcock's. When I showed up Steve was wearing a construction hat and dancing around hamboned. The game was kind of boring with no one scoring 20 points. Vince had a sweet dunk but he's still a fag. Ray Allen led the West with 17 but the East won. AI was MVP. Beyonce's booty is getting ridiculous. Shaq is the most entertaining figure in professional sports. Kobe has a beard now and he sucks.

Quick band review that time forgot: Minus the Bear - Shoulda kept the bear.

Some pop music

I downloaded (legally of course!) Dizzee Rascal's "Dream" yesterday. It's quite inspiring. Seriously. I've been writing a lot of acoustic little riffs lately because that's what's out and the old four track is broken. It's all pretty melodic. The writing's on the wall: I write gay songs. Does the Brill Building still exist? I'd like to work there. Seems like I'll have to go super tough on my second record after I drop some John Denver cuts plus cursing on the first one.

The Supersonics are 10+ games up at the All Star break. That means Tubby should have to drink a carafe of diarrhea. See previous posts for more explanation, but you won't find anything about the diarrhea because that's new. You'll find stuff about Tubby and the Sonics though.

Makaela got me tickets to see Graham Coxon next month at Chop Suey. It will be a sweet show. He's my favorite guitarist and after three or four records on meloncholy alcoholic folk/mess, he finally made a pop record. It's called Happiness in Magazines. Check out "Bittersweet Bundle of Misery" and "Bottom Bunk". Graham's the new Damon. (Blur reference.) Remember Blur? They were something.

I should really write down the story of my shroom trip from month ago. It was awesome at first and then drifted towards insanity. But I'm still alive.

Three day weekend coming up. I've laid off the bottle for a couple of days so tomorrow it's back on ya heard. Seth and Summer should get married - they're the new Ross and Rachel. If I was a cabinet member I'd be Secretary of Keeping it Real. If I could buy three things right now they would be a full length faux fur coat, a case of Cristal, and a Segway Scooter. Then I would roll along beaches at sunset so people would have to ponder my awesome silhouette. I would outfit the scooter with a stereo and play the Benny Hill theme whilst chasing my friends around - some dressed like cops, some like bears.

Apologies to Alan who is reading this for the first time and already heard some of this material today. His campaign flyer is the shiznit. I will try to post it.