Baseball question for Andrew

Sportscenter last night showed the schedule of one game playoffs if the Yankees, Red Sox, and Indians were to all finish the season with the same record. It appears that the Yankees and Red Sox will play one game at Yankee Stadium to determine the AL East champ, with the loser then flying to Cleveland to play the Tribe for the wild card entry. I have always been under the impression that if the rare one game playoff is necessary to determine a divisional champion, then that playoff game would count as a 163rd regular season game. Why in this scenario should Cleveland have to play their way into the playoffs against a team with a worse regular season record (on account of the one game playoff)? Is the league simply giving the Yanks and BoSox as many chances as possible to make the playoffs and hoping people won't notice?

Ou est La Beouf?

ITEM: I have it on a very reliable source that a senior espn.com employee is among the many dissatisfied with the early regular season Fantasy Football service.

I agree that yahoo is more reliable than espn. You'd think that would be enough to use yahoo exclusively. Right? Wrong. I'm talking about upside bitch. Espn's fantasy football, when it is functioning (95% of the time), is a better product than yahoo's. Simple as that. I can customize the league settings way more on espn, there are better articles written by bigger fantasy nerds, and finally - Smack Boards. To quote Ari Gold: "Boom."

Speaking of Pivs my top five movie actor list is currently:
Nicholas Cage
Matt Damon
Jeremy Piven
empty
empty

Until now that is. I would like to officially add Shia LaBeouf to that list. This is based on the strength of performances in the films "Battle of Shaker Heights" and the criminally slept on "I, Robot". Shaker Heights was a Project Greenlight movie on HBO a couple of years ago so there was a lot of reality footage which he spent cursing and talking like a black dude. Check and check. In that movie he totally necked Amy Smart. In Robot he offers the new phrase "Ass high spankable man". I like that. He has a great action movie line in Robot too:
NS5 Robot (in robot voice): You have been deemed hazardous. Do you comply?
Shia: You can kiss my ass metal dick!
Welcome Shia.

Makaela doesn't like how Tina Fey is always talking about her vagina using words like "noony" or "cooter" or "lady business". I think it's funny.

Watching ESPN's most recent Sunday Night Football was pretty infuriating. You know the drill how in every game they pick one player and gush about him all night long. Last Sunday's guy was Eli Manning. Newsflash: HE SUCKS. Every play he made was followed with a "You talk about a guy who can make the forward pass" or "Look at this! Look at this! Right here! Boom! What a handoff.". There was one play where Eli threw behind a wide open Plaxico Burress about 25 yards downfield over the middle, and Joe Theisman had the nerve to say that Plaxico needed to sit down and make a play for his QB. Here's an idea: How about Eli makes a throw for his receiver?? The ball was behind him plain and simple.

Side note: The moment I realized I hated Joe Theisman was during the Joe Horn Cellphone TD Celebration. Joe Theisman went on this rant about how the league should fine Horn one hundred thousand dollars ($100,000!) and suspend him for 2 games. SHUT THE FUCK UP JOE THEISMAN!! They should allow me in the booth to just slap some of these high and mighty crackers one of these days. I mean, they fine Broncos linemen $20,000 for ending players careers. Ending. Players. Careers. But yeah, that cellphone call really shook society to its core. Methinks Joe fears a race riot. Keep those players in line! Exact same sentiments out to Joe Buck also for his ridiculous reaction to the Randy Moss mooning incident.

Back to the game, the ESPN announcers didn't seem to notice that San Diego squatted and took a moist hairy doogen on the Jints. Keenan McCardell had his second 2 TD game this year and they've only played three fucking weeks! Not a single mention. It would have cut into Eli's highlight time.

If you missed the Bob Dylan documentary directed by Scorsese you really missed out. I think they're showing it again on Saturday night at 10pm. Check your local PBS listings bitches!

Only one thing could get this blog back on track....

A desire to provide entertainment for the masses bored at work? Of course not!! ESPN's stupid fucking fantasy servers are down. I have nothing to do. I recognize that they are attempting to offer an ambitious product in making their fantasy football so customizable....but make the fucking thing work first!!!!! I hope some heads are rolling in Bristol. I'll try to get ESPN.com correspondant Sunny Wu on the AIM tonight for an update. If nothing else this will knock they're IT department down a peg. Anyone who's seen the "Nick Burns: Company Computer Guy" sketches on SNL know that these guys get a little full of themselves sometimes. HEY NERDS: FIX MY FUCKING FOOTBALL NOW

Ok, that's out of my system.

So, what was I talking about? Ah yes, Wedding Crashers. That was only a quarter ago. I enjoyed a few things especially the second time around. In the football scene there are a handful of nice quotes. Wilson asks Vaughn if he can throw a pick to Rachel McAdams without making it look obvious to which Vaughn replies, "I was all state in high school. I could make it rain out here." When Sack's friend is gloating over Sack dominating Vince he yells, "Crabcakes and football!! That's what Maryland does!!" You know, or something like that. The other great line was when Owen Wilson is dejected after losing Rachel McAdams and his answering machine picks up the phone (said whilst sighing heavily), "This is John.....whatever....(beeeeeep)".

Husky Football update: Husky Hoops tips off 11/6 against Simon Fraser. Simon Fraser's campus is located primarily underground because it's too cold there in the winter. And they recruited Camm for golf and diving. No foolin'.

GoHuskies.com also informs me that Romar will be speaking at an event this week at KeyArena. This event is called "Jammin' Against The Darkness". I can only assume that on September 17th a bunch of people will go to the Key, smoke reefer, crank up Legend, and talk a bunch of shit about that joke band The Darkness. Finally a coach with a conscience.

I've been listening to the song Kiss You Back by Digital Underground a lot lately. I recommend you download it now if you haven't heard it in a while. My favorite line in that song is when Money B says, "Girl you act real fly. Money B's not buying it." That's the type of thing I'd like to say if I saw some girl acting fly but I wasn't necessarily buying it.

Trade in your breakfast for a Dannon Frusion Smoothay!! If you search the internet for this phrase you'll find that more people have a relationship with this commercial than is probably proper. I count myself among that group that can't get enough of that guy and his Smoothies. Ad campaign of the year so far.

A search of that phrase just led me to this site: CourtneyElizabeth.com - Diary of a young black photographer. Her page is way tighter than mine.

I'm back bitches.