We're older. FEAR THE SHNEEZE!!!!

I'm a man. An honest man. I've thought about starting a website before at www.poopedyourpants.com. It f'ing happens. To the best of us.

At work this week one day I was preparing Fedexes for the man. Things were going great when I felt a tingle in my nose. No big deal right? I sneezed once. and things were fine. Little did I know. I was sitting almost indian style. Feathers not dots. Read: sphincter open. On the second sneeze tragedy struck. To quote Das Efx: "The juice hit my BVDs quick like that - splat/I briggedy broke my ish from behind/tried to fake it, shake it/but yo I couldn't hide from the juicy/power of a loosey." I shneezed people. Shizneezed.

Luckily it wasn't awful because I broke for the john hella quick and got a clean up in effect. Light splatter but the lesson was clear. If you have to sneeze check your booty hole and bring it tight. Trust me, it came out of nowhere. There was no warning in sight. Learn from my mistake.